I’m going to come right out and say it. I’m over alpha males who can’t string a sentence together. Shocker, I know.
But seriously. I know our loins get all fluttery and we revert back to some real knuckle-dragger tendencies when it comes to the hot cop-firefighter-SEAL who throws our heroine over his shoulder and carries her to safety where he summarily pushes her against the wall and shows just how manly his manly party are.
I’m not saying don’t write those books. Baby, my loins get fluttery just thinking about it, (ick, really, truly ick) but I’m here to let my freak flag fly and say that this proud-Ravenclaw, straight-A, glasses-wear, documentary-watching, nonfiction-reading nerd wants to see some smarty pants heroes on the page.
Sometimes I write about important things. This isn’t one of those times. This is one of those times where I stomp my feet and beat my chest and demand that our alpha He-Men are also capable polyglots with an eye for Baroque art and a surprisingly vast knowledge of the erotic language in the Decameron. (That story makes my erotic romance look like a Dr. Seuss book…)
Why? Because nerds are hot, damnit.
A few years ago, when I was chest-deep in my FanFiction phase, (I told you I was a nerd…I’ve also worked in both libraries and museums…) I discovered the concept of sapiosexuality and ring, ding, ding, a couple lightbulbs went on.
Sapiosexual is a very new term and refers to a person who is sexually attracted to intelligence or the human mind before physical appearance. Explains a whole lot, am I right? See, when we get down to it, the biggest erogenous zone a person has is their mind. That’s why whispered promises in the dark are so erotic. That’s why people have been sending naughty poetry to each other long before Channel Four warned you of the dangers of Your Teens Sexting. Our imagination is one hell of a playground and humans are inherently capable of coming up with some pretty raunchy material all on our own.
Which brings me back to the original point – smart guys, please! Not to say there aren’t any, of course there are. I just want more of them. I love the idea of delayed meetings, of falling in love with a person’s voice as they grow passionate about the patina on a 1924 Bugatti Type 35 open-wheeled race car or their new graphics card. And that’s the thing – you can be smart or passionate or driven to learn about whatever you want. Find me a man who’s innately curious and I might lose track of my panties.
Then, when you’re already batting 1000, that’s when we find out he’s got some killer abs under his Doctor Who t-shirt and that the glasses and briefs thing, oh yeah, it’s doing it for ya.
Maybe I’m being silly – or maybe I’m just missing some seriously great nerd-dude heroes, and if I am, drop ‘em in the comments below. Of course, there are way more important things in a hero, communication, respect, support. We put in our foundations for building the perfect man and then we can accessorize all we want.
And I want mine to come with glasses.
What do you think about the geek-chic Spiderman, Q, Spock hero type? Share your thoughts with the class and you might even get some extra credit if you stop by the office later… okay, I’m done, honest! But I love talking geek-cool, so let me know how you feel about the alpha-nerd character below! ♥